i have decided that men suck even all of my guy friends (there's a lot of those) because no matter what i do, they hurt me. weather it be mentally or physically, mean to or don't mean to. it doesn't matter they still do it. like last night my friend hit me twice in the face really hard and i know he didn't mean to hurt me and he said he was sorry a lot but still, i still feel the pain. i hit him back of course. and i know ill forgive him [i always do because for some weird reason i love the little bastard] [i love you hon] but there was a point last night were i was about to rip his head off... and i didn't care. and that scares me. that i could feel absolutely nothing but hate. i laid there in his arms and i just cried. because i was in a lot of pain of course but also because i wanted to hurt him to the point were he couldn't move anymore, still be alive but couldn't move. I'm sure it was just that i was angry but still, is that a normal thing to think? i don't know.

kelli